In true blue USA fashion, they've taken what should be a ridiculous premise, a bunch of undercover agents live in a house together on the beach, and made it fun and full of bromance and banter. The perfect summer show, and a great accompaniment to the final season of the great Burn Notice.
Yep, totally watching for the banter.
Under the Dome (CBS, June 24)
Summer's most widely anticipated show, this series, based on the Stephen King novel of the same name, centers on a small Maine town that is mysteriously trapped, you guess it, under a dome. Why? How? Who cares? It's post-apocalyptic type drama plus small town crazy, and it should be a fun ride.
Wait, they can fingerpaint the dome? That's going to make it much more fun!
Camp (NBC, July 10)
The summer camp premise is a good one, so this show lives and dies on the chemistry of the cast and the sophistication of the jokes - neither of which seems promising from what I've seen so far.
So, Rachel, I see we're making that face a lot....
Other things NBC is burning off over the summer: Crossing Lines, the Donald Sutherland helmed international "thriller" about elite cops; Siberia, which seems to be "What would happen if Survivor took place on a haunted island?"; and Get Out Alive! With Bear Grylls, which is definitely the best named show of the summer.
Alive and sexy.
King and Maxwell (TNT, June 10)
In TNT's rich tradition (Rizzoli and Isles, Franklin and Bash) of naming their tv shows after law firms, King and Maxwell brings us Rebecca Romijn and that-guy-who-played-The-Closer's-husband (Jon Tenney) as snarky detectives who I'm sure have delightful banter and will-they-won't-they chemistry. (If it's half the chemistry Rizzoli and Isles have, it'll be one hot show.) Major Crimes premieres the same night.
Ray Donovan (Showtime, June 30)
Hey, if you're not sick of the complicated male anti-hero who does bad things while failing to deal with his family, then this new Showtime series starring Liev Schreiber as the titular character should be right up your alley. If you are, then you won't care that Dexter is back the same night.
Ooh, see, he's walking away from the light! He's all dark and complicated!
Orange Is The New Black (Netflix, all episodes available July 11)
By far the most promising new show of the summer, Orange is based on the memoir of the same name, the story of Piper Chapman, a pretty white girl from a rich family and the year she spent in prison. Helmed by Weeds creator Jenji Kohan, it's sure to bring the funny with the pain.
What do you mean "toilet wine"?
Whose Line is it Anyway? (CW, July 16)
I have an unabashed weakness for this show. Always have. Seriously, watch this clip, and tell me Wayne Brady isn't a national treasure:
And that Colin Mochrie doesn't make you feel OLD.
Notable returning highlights:
Falling Skies (TNT, June 9), Switched at Birth (ABC Family, June 10), Magic City (Starz, June 14), True Blood (HBO, June 16), Copper (BBCA, June 23), Suits (USA, July 16), Web Therapy (Showtime, July 23), Breaking Bad (AMC, Aug 11).
It's been a long drought of a TV spring, hasn't it, my little Freaks?
Even the shows I like have been kinda....
Well, not great.
I'm talking to you, Community.
And you, HIMYM.
And you, Doctor Who. (Shit, I know. SACRILEGE!)
Really, it's pretty much everything.
It makes your dear blogger very sad.
This whole blogging thing? Only works when I have feelings.
I have no feelings about Revenge. I end an episode of Castle thinking about my to-do list, not what might happen on the next one. I've left piles on the DVR of Justified, Suburgatory, Bones, Raising Hope, Go On, and Hawaii Five-0.
Because, meh.
There have been a few beacons of light in this bleak TV landscape. Arrow kicks serious ass. (And his ass is seriously kickin'.) Scandal leaves me gasping every week. New Girl and Parks and Recreation make me actually laugh out loud every single week, and I have sincerely enjoyed the great last season The Office is having. (Although I'm also very glad it is their last, it was time.)
But really, that's it.
So what made your world-weary TV blogger come flying back to the keyboard?
I can not BEGIN to explain to you how excited I am about this show. The trailer just gave me goosebumps, and that was at least the fourteenth time I've watched it.
Joss Whedon has a new show on TV. On an actual network. With a budget. About superheroes. With Gunn!
It's going to be AWESOME.
And it's not the only one.
Ready for some snap judgement?
Let's do this!
ABC
In addition to Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (that will be the one and only time I type that correctly), which I may have mentioned, the Alphabet is bringing more fairy tales to life with the spin-off Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. I was initially really skeptical about this, but the trailermakes a hell of an argument. Sophie Lee as Alice is great casting, and I think the love story could punch up the drama in a way that the original Once should consider. Plus, I am just a sucker for crossover episodes.
I'm also a fan of Trophy Wife, starring Malin Akerman as wife number three to Bradley Whitford and his bevy of children and previous wives, including the great Marcia Gay Harden; and think that, despite the difficult 1980's-set premise, The Goldbergs might have legs.
The rest of the network's schedule looks awful. I'm voting Back in the Game, which looks like a terrible feel-good Hallmark movie someone tried to make into a series, as the first death of the year. Please also kill Killer Women (why is that the name of a show about one lady?), Mixology, Betrayal, and Lucky 7, which also all look really hackneyed. And why do people keep giving Christian Slater shows? He's terrible at them. Mind Games will be no different.
I am almost positive this is the exact same cast from the last shitty show he did.
(I know the rest of the world is sold on Rebel Wilson, but I'm not yet, so I'm reserving judgement on Super Fun Night.)
It seems like they think the way to do this is to make sitcoms from 2002. Welcome to the Family is about a mexican family and a white family that have to get along! Sean Saves the World is about Jack McFarland trying to raise a teenager! The Michael J. Fox Show is about Michael J. Fox having a show! Ironside is about a renegade cop who gets the bad guy but doesn't follow procedure. But he's in a wheelchair!
Ugh.
Yes, that makes it better.
FOX
It seems like FOX has more new shows than it should. One of these is based on the legend of Sleepy Hollow (inventively named Sleepy Hollow), that features what I can only imagine to be the 1700's most impeccably groomed man waking up in modern day and being paired with a black female cop.
Just let that sink in for a second.
I'm sure he was a very progressive member of Pre-Revolutionary America.
Moving on, who wouldn't love Greg Kinnear being a charming jerk on Rake, and a remake of the british show Gavin and Stacey, which stars the too-adorable for words Alexis Bledel and Jason Ritter. Anybody else think it's weird he's now put the moves on both of the Gilmore Girls?
Yep, it's weird!
Dads and Enlisted can also shut the hell up, I can't even decide which is worse, but I am hopeful for Andre Braugher and Andy Samberg in Brooklyn Nine- Nine. The other sci-fi nerds should join me in being excited about Almost Human from JJ and JH (Wyman, from Fringe), which should be the 2nd most promising nerd offering of the year. (Have you heard about this SHIELD show?)
There will be more later, from these networks and the ones I haven't covered (because they haven't put out trailers, silly!), but I will leave you with this final hint of the beautiful treats to come...
This happens every year, Freaks. All the shows go on hiatus in later November or December and I think, "Oh, good! Now I will have time to catch up on all the shows I want to watch that I don't!"
And then... I don't.
It seems that I forget about holidays, or family in town, or the many, many hours I must spend baking cookies and watching Lifetime Christmas Movies.
So, sorry, Homeland. And The Wire. And the last half of Game of Thrones. And Girls (which I planned to hate-watch). January is here, and I have more shows to preview for my lovely audience.
Who is probably just pissed that I don't watch Homeland.
So what's happening in January?
Smash is Back!
They made it all new! They took away the horrible people and scarves! It's different, we swear! Jennifer Hudson!
The new producers are yelling from the rooftops how much the show has changed and how much better they made it, and I really, really hope that is true. I wanted to like this show so much. There were moments of brilliance in the pilot, and then it got kind of terrible, and then the finale of last season was pretty good. I can't make up my mind about McPhee, I hate her one minute and love her the next - is that a flaw of the actress or the writing? Both, I think, and two in a long list of flaws from which the show suffered. Despite the fact I love Debra Messing, Anjelica Huston, The guy from Coupling, and Megan Hilty, who is both hot and awesome, the show's terribleness was enough to overcome all of that good.
That's a lot of terrible to fix. I genuinely hope they can do it.
There has never been a woman with a gay best friend who has been allowed to dress like this.
Community is Back!
I think I'm just at the point where I'm looking at any new episodes of this show I get as a gift.
Stupid NBC.
Guys With Kids is still on? Seriously?
Hey, speaking of stupid....
Deception is not a horrible show. The lead is watchable, Victor Garber can make anyone cry, and there seem to be enough mysteries and soapy complications to keep it going for at least a season (although past that certainly seems suspect).
It does not matter. I don't know how to explain this, but I am certain this show will be cancelled in two months. Maybe even two weeks. It's just not going to work.
Sorry, Deception. Should have gone with ABC.
Oops.
And on an even sadder note....
Do you know the last time I felt this sorry for Bill Pullman?
Yep. That's the 1996 gem Mr. Wrong, which remains to this day one of the most uncomfortable movies I've ever seen.
Also, it is horrible.
But not nearly as horrible as 1600 Penn.
This show is beyond horrible. This show is heinous. Revolting. This show should be categorized as a war crime it is sofucking HORRIBLE.
I hate you.
I was genuinely offended by this show. Josh Gad is insufferable, Jenna Elfman is (as usual) trying to make it all about her and too stupid to realize that's bad, the dialogue is stilted and completely unfunny, and everyone involved is trying so hard to convince you that you wouldn't rather be watching dogs poop than this shitshow they can't even be bothered to make Pullman a more believable president than he was in Independence Day - and I'm including the aliens.
It makes me even more incensed that NBC is spending money on this drivel when they have cancelled great shows like last year's Best Friends Forever, they've jacked around brilliance like Community,and now seem determined to kill other good shows like Up All Night, which is on hiatus undergoing a multi-cam makeover, a fact that makes me want to spit nails. Not to mention whatever the hell happened with 30 Rock.
Hey, NBC?
Screw you.
Even the monkey in the lab coat is embarrassed.
So, is there anything good?
Yep. Justified is back January 8 on FX, which should make anyone who likes good TV (or seriously hot dudes who wear cowboy hats) happy. The boys of USA Network will also be joining us as White Collar, Suits, and Psychreturn to fill our lives with charming smiles and bromance. (Jan 22, Jan 17, Feb 27)
Downton Abbey brings season 3 stateside on January 6 on PBS. You can expect much scandal and tragedy from the period piece favorite. The show has already completed its run in England, so let me just say this - there are some serious shocks coming your way!
Turns out he's James Bond, it's crazy.
Cougar Town is back on January 8, picked up from cancellation by TBS (which of course, you already know if you have been on that station or its affiliates in the last three months, read a magazine, or have eyes). I love this show, for reasons that are enumerated here. Mostly that it's funny and awesome.
I'm really, really looking forward to FX's new show The Americans, starring Keri Russell (Felicity) and Matthew Rhys (Brothers and Sisters) as soviet spies in 1980's American suburbia. It's got good producer cred, including Graham Yost from Justified, and I really like both of the leads, so I have high hopes for this one. (Jan 30)
There might be another little spy thing I'm excited about as well....
There's a little more weird too, in Zero Hour, coming to ABC and starring Anthony Edwards. It pretty much just seems to be The Da Vinci Code, but without the weird hair or sexual tension with the girl, since they are also looking for his wife. I'm not expecting to get involved.
The CW has made a prequel to Sex and the City called The Carrie Diaries. I realize this is sacrilege among my gender, but I didn't love Carrie and Co., so I'll be giving it a pass. I've got enough CW guilty pleasure on my DVR for one supposedly grown woman.
Not even guilty about this one.
Alan Ball left True Blood to write a show for Cinemax called Banshee, about a criminal who ends up sheriff of a weird, and I'm assuming supernatural, town. (Jan 11)
Except it is on Cinemax.
Which just automatically means I'm going to think it's porn.
But like, bad porn. Not True Blood.
Otherwise, stay tuned for your returning shows on all the big networks, (30 Rock finale is January 30!) Showtime has House of Lies, Shameless, and Californication on Jan 13, HBO's Girls and Enlightened drop the same day, and Dallas returns to TNT on Jan 28 for J.R.'s last stand.
In my fantasy life, where everything is perfect, I write at least three hysterical posts and a list every week, and have time to watch everything on television. (In addition to having a successful career and being the kind of person who not only remembers your birthday, but delivers a handmade card and thoughtful gift with a dozen of the prettiest cupcakes you've ever seen after having gone to yoga and saving puppies or something. In heels.)
Real life is not quite that organized.
So, sadly, I am a terrible blogger. For this, please accept my deepest apologies.
I intended to do a Best and Worst of 2012 thing today, but then I realized a few things:
1. I basically did my "Worst" list in my last post.
2. I don't really watch the "Best" shows on TV, especially dramas. (Sorry, Homeland. I'm working on it.)
Parks and Rec is the best. Amy Poehler is the best. No, really, like the actual best human being on the planet. I checked.
I think it just keeps getting better, too. The "Leslie for City Council" arc last season was hysterical, the various romances this fall have been endearing (and on occasion tear-jerking), and it manages to stay surprising while still having characters grow and change. Well done, Ms. Amy.
I love you! But not in a creepy way! (OK, maybe a little bit creepy! But nice! Still nice!)
The Big Bang Theory
Big Bang is not typically the kind of sitcom I (or most TV critics) like, because it follows a more traditional format (multicam, studio audience, setup punchline, etc.) and therefore seems like it would feel static or stupid like its static, stupid ilk (Two and a Half Men, Two Broke Girls, Last Man Standing, Whitney - did you know Whitney is still on?).
It doesn't.
Or maybe it does, but because the writing is funny and the cast is excellent, I just don't care. It is a pleasure to watch every week. I think the addition of Mayim Bialik and Melissa Rauch (who does not get enough credit at all for her brilliance as Bernadette) really brought the show to a new level; impressive several years into a show's run. The cast seems energized, the writers are having fun, and I always look forward to watching.
New Girl
Once Zooey toned down the twee and the writers found a dynamic for the group as a whole (congrats on the personalities, Cici and Winston!) New Girl became one of the funniest shows on TV. It's fresh, it's quirky (but without being too much), and it manages to be sweet as well.
Plus, OMG, how much do you love Nick and Jess? OTP fo-eva! (Is that how you do that? Am I supposed to add a hashtag?)
Fire! Boss! Epic! YOLO!
Modern Family
In some interesting way, Modern Family feels like the elder statesman of this group, even though it hasn't been on all that long. I think it's because it is just a perfectly executed show. Think about it. The writing is pretty much flawless, as is the acting, and it is consistently funny. You just can't argue with that.
Suburgatory
You don't watch this show. That's a shame, because it is really funny. OK, it's kinda weird, but so is everything else we watch. It's also snarky and clever and sweet, and all of the young actresses (particularly the brilliant Carly Chaikin as Dalia) are just really, really good. You should watch it.
The Top Five Shows I Love (That Probably Aren't Very Good)
Arrow
Sometimes you just need to watch a show about a hot guy who got stranded on a desert island and became an almost-superhero vigilante to atone for the sins his father revealed at his death (which was probably orchestrated by his mother and some secret organization led by Totally Not! Captain Jack Harkness) and the cute girl he and his best friend love and the cool former soldier who also is a vigilante sometimes.
Right?
Look, I get that this is probably all sacrilege to comic book fans of The Green Arrow, but for this kind of show on the CW, they've actually done a pretty good job. It's interesting and fun and enjoyable. Plus, hot guy training montages!
Go On
I'm going to repeat myself here: I'm not saying this is the best show ever, it's not. But it is pretty funny, and the other characters are starting to find some footing, (again, Julie White is awesome as Judy), but mostly, mostly....
I love Matthew Perry.
And he's in this show.
So I love it.
And I love this. More of this, please.
Hawaii Five-0
OK, look. I'm kinda embarrassed to write this one. This show is a very silly procedural. It is exactly the same quality as the worst of the CSI's, it's just as cheesy as the lame NCIS, and as silly as the worst of USA's pantheon of procedurals.
Well, almost.
It's just the tiniest of advantages, but it's why I chose to watch it over so many of the other procedural options: Alex O'Laughlin and Scott Caan have great chemistry, and are just very watchable. It doesn't take much for a procedural. Speaking of which,
Castle
I'm acknowledging that Castle is also not a brilliantly written or executed show. It's not heavy or deep or full of crazy plot twists. But they managed to successfully navigate getting their will-they-won't-they couple together without falling apart, an impressive feat, and it remains cast with people I want to hang out with.
That's all. I just like watching it because I want to go to double date with Castle and Beckett or grab a beer with Ryan and Esposito. That's all the justification you get.
See, we could have them over for brunch! And I could help her burn that shirt.
Once Upon A Time
Is this show good? I honestly have no idea. I know I really like it. It's a solid, fun, sweet show. The writing isn't terrible. The acting is pretty good. It's not setting the world on fire, but I genuinely enjoy watching it every week.
Sometimes "TV people" don't seem to know that's enough.
The Top Five Disappointments of 2012
Smash
Hey, remember how much potential Smash had?
That didn't go well, huh?
I found it extra annoying because it had moments where you could see the potential, where I thought, "Oh, hey! I want to watch that show!" Mostly when Megan Hilty was on.
And then Katharine McPhee would open her stupid mouth or they'd start singing in a bowling alley and I'd think, "Ugh, nevermind."
Supposedly, they are fixing it for a relaunch in January. They got rid of the exec producer and some annoying cast (though sadly not McPhee), and are promising no more Bollywood numbers. I'll be delighted if it gets better, but I'm not holding my breath.
Nashville
Dammit, Nashville. I'm REALLY pissed that this show isn't better. Honestly upset. I'm sticking with it for a while, because it is not terrible, but I really wanted it to be great.
It should be. The flatness doesn't make sense. Connie Britton should be exploding in this role. Write. It. Better. Hayden Panettiere is -I can't believe I'm saying this- great, stop making her spit the same lines over and over. And for the love of God, please, please, please get rid of the horrible pouty blonde girl.
I hate her. I hate her with the fire of a thousand suns. I hate her more than I hate the cast of Jersey Shore, more than I hate the two broke girls, more than I hate Joffrey fucking Baratheon. If you don't hate her, I hate you. She's wrong. And awful. And STOP FUCKING POUTING!
This picture is literally named Nashville-stupid-bitch.jpg
So... it has some flaws, is what I'm saying. But it could be spectacular. All of the pieces are there, it just has to use them.
Partners
There's a lesson to be learned from Partners. You'd think the creators would have leaned this somewhere around 2003, but apparently they did not.
You can't make the crazy character(s) the center of the show. It's too much. People think they want more Jack, or Kramer, or Steve Urkel, but in reality, too much of this person is too much.
So if you try to make him the central character, you just make us hate him from the beginning. And Michael Urie? Take it down a notch.
That was the face he made the whole time.
Revolution
The holes are too big, the acting is too forced, the girl too bland.
I can't deal.
Dammit, JJ. Do better!
Yeah, because this asshole managed to take over like half the country. Totally buying that.
How I Met Your Mother
It's time to call it a day, friends. I will be sorry to see you go, but I will be more sorry if you make us watch another terrible year. The writing has become inconsistent, caricatureish, and frankly, lazy. I have no idea what's happened to Robin, Ted has apparently learned less than any of us watching about himself in eight years, and even Marshall and Lily seem to be merely a collection of previously established characters traits (Marshall is from Minnesota! Lily has the hots for Robin!).
I miss the Robin who was not a basketcase or a bitch, I miss the Ted who gave a hopeful speech about believing in love outside a girl's window, not the seemingly insane and desperately annoying pompous ass that's been wearing his shirts. I appreciate the growth that Barney has shown, but as amazing as NPH is, he's not the only character.
Find the end of your story, and use it to get back the characters we love and find the heart that's missing.
Before it's too late.
The Top Five Biggest Surprises of 2012
Scandal
Scandal is awesome. It's fast and snappy and sexy and has excellent writing and I'm totally obsessed with it.
I'm assuming that will be true for another year before Shonda and crew ruin it with insane bullshit.
Right?
She was trying to perform surgery on a deer? I don't know what we're going to do with that...
Newsroom
Being a Sorkin fangirl, I had really high hopes for Newsroom, but something in me (Studio 60) kept convincing me that it was going to be terrible, or preachy, or too liberal for even my bleeding heart.
It's not.
I mean, do not get me wrong, this show is definitely, aggressively Sorkin, but it's brilliant too. People talk fast, and mention musicals in daily conversation, and believe in love and hope and change and the liberal elite...
Isn't that awesome?
Sons Of Anarchy
This show has always been good, but this year it has taken the world by storm. In its fifth year, it's enjoyed unprecedented success, topping even network shows in the ratings. It's been complicated, heartwrenching mesmerizing. Kurt Sutter has done justice to the complicated characters and storyline he created, surprising us at every turn with edgy choices, dark humor, and seemingly impossible twists.
I can't wait to see where it goes from here.
R.I.P., Horatio.
Burn Notice
I was totally over this show. I stopped watching regularly around the end of season four, and mostly missed season five - until I caught the last few episodes on one of those USA marathon days. So I tried again this season, and was really pleasantly surprised at what I found The show seems to be wrapping up, giving it some focus and direction. It's not just case of the week, but actually dealing with deeper issues, with the death of Michael's brother and the ramifications of his choices in the aftermath. If you enjoyed this show in the past but have given up on it, it's worth another look.
Revenge
Um, hey, Revenge?
WTF?
Why is there an "Initiative"? Is this a JJ Abrams show?
Who is this guy with the giant face? You couldn't convince me I gave a crap about Jack, now you're trying to add another dude? Really? And the whole "Mysterious Asian Guy" thing is just really stupid. Can we all agree on that?
And can we all also agree that Jennifer Jason Leigh has botoxed all expression out of her face and is terrible? Like, really, really terrible? That whole subplot was poorly done. Save the "Your Mom isn't dead!" thing for way into the fourth season when we could care. I do not care about this bitch. It would be fine if she went back to being dead.
Here is what I care about:
Emily wants revenge on people with faces. Daniel smiles pretty because he loves Emily. Nolan is awesome. (The stuff this fall with him has been the most interesting part.)
Victoria is a badass, and she should be fighting on all fronts, all the time. She should be fighting Emily and nasty socialites and Conrad and other people that are actual people and not shadowy organizations and whatever - let us be impressed with the nasty poise she exhibits under pressure, and root for her despite the fact that we hate her.
And for the love of god, we don't' care about Declan!
Please kill half of these people.
So that's what I think about 2012, Freaks. What do you think? Anything I missed? Got wrong? Should shut up about? Head to the comments!
I hope 2013 brings more of the awesome and less of the awful, and me being a better blogger.
Due to the unfortunate death of a television, I'd gotten way behind on my watching schedule. This is particularly difficult right at the beginning of the new season when I'm trying to watch all of the news shows at least a couple of times, so I feel like I can give you, my dear readers, an honest and researched opinion.
My opinion is that the new stuff sucks.
OK, well maybe not entirely, but it's not doing what it is supposed to, either.
Let me paint you a picture, dear Freaks. I was plowing through an overloaded DVR, camped out on the couch for hours and debating even pausing when I went to grab the laundry, wondering if I'd ever be finished, when something amazing happened. Something important.
I burst into tears.
I'd watched so much TV, I was barely even paying attention anymore. And then, the Halloween episode of Parks and Recreation happened. Those of you who have seen it will know exactly when I stated crying, but I'll tell you, it was more than just the sweetness of that moment.
I was genuinely happy for Leslie Knope.
That's why I love TV. Because for five years, I've been watching Leslie Knope's life. I care about what happens to her. For me, it's much more personal than movies because I've invested so much time in these people. I care if they find love, or get promoted, or survive time travel, or avenge the death of their father/sister/boyfriend.
It was also a perfectly written moment of television.
There haven't been a lot of those this year.
And that's also why it was the moment where I thought...
Time to clean out the DVR. I'm done wasting my time with TV that doesn't make me feel anything.
So who get killed?
Revolution
I could go on and on and on and on and on about how stupid and unbelievable this show is (brand new clothes and shoes? and the tattoo/brand thing- who does that? and why was she not dying when she was dying? and...) but it basically boils down to this: that girl is boring.
I don't care if she dies. I don't care if Swashbuckler McBrotherIssues dies either. And that's kind of a problem. I'm supposed to care. It's kind of the one thing I'm supposed to care about. But it's poorly written and boringly acted and not very smart and obviously the number one new show.
Really, people? Ugh.
Damn. I totally forgot to get a tattoo that could be easily turned into a brand in a post-apocalyptic future with no power. And a talented Blacksmith to build me a bunch of them. They shouldn't be hard to find, right?
The Mindy Project
I hate to give up on this one, but I need to. I love her. I love the idea of this show. I like the supporting cast for the most part. There are moments where I get what she's trying to do.
But she's not doing it.
All she's doing is not being very funny.
I fully approve of Mindy trying to create a female character that we're not sure we like all the time, the lady version of Michael Scott. I actually really approve the effort, in a feminist kinda way. And I wish so much that I liked this show. I'll give it another shot before the first season is over, to see if it has found its footing, but for right now....
Sorry, Mindy. It's not me, it's you.
OK, Little Wayne House on the Prairie was pretty brilliant.
Chicago Fire
This is a terrible show.
Arrow is much better eye candy.
I can not stop laughing at this picture.
Vegas
Am I the only one who found this show really boring? I just could not get into it. I mean, it's not terrible, it's just not very good. I think my brilliant Dad was right when he said Quaid and Chiklis should have switched parts. They both seem like they're trying too hard. So is the script.
Moving on.
I will miss the great CGI work.
The Mob Doctor
I'm honestly surprised this show even made it back after FOX benched it for the World Series, but they seem to be burning off the rest of the already produced episodes. Don't get attached if you're watching; though it hasn't been officially cancelled, it will be soon.
Which is fine by me, I wanted better for Jordanna Spiro. But this is a terribly written show. God, even on Bones they wouldn't have a doctor check a text in the middle of surgery.
Partners
Hey, Michael Urie.....please, please, please stop trying so hard.
He will not stop making this face.
The New Normal
Hey, Ryan Murphy....you too.
666 Park Ave.
This show is.....
I honestly have no idea. It's not terrible, but it's not very good, either. I like the cast, it's a bit of mindless fluff, the kind of show that I might keep on in the background when I was doing laundry, or watch on my lunch break at work.
But ABC is totally gonna cancel it, so it doesn't matter.
Oh my god, did you know this was a book?
So what new stuff gets permanent rotation among the established favorites?
Elementary
CBS just knows how to do procedurals. This show is not setting the world on fire, but it is a well done procedural with an enjoyable cast. Jonny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu have great chemistry and I appreciate that I don't always know who did it before the first commercial break. It gets to stay put for lazy weekend viewing when I just want something easy to watch.
Go On
This show is not perfect. But it has a great heart and some really funny moments. It's becoming more well-rounded and using John Cho more, which makes me happy. Plus, I really, really love Matthew Perry. Like, a lot.
Hey, hottie. Your show makes me cry sometimes. Is it silly if I want your dead wife to be on more often?
Arrow
I also love how many shirtless training montages this show has. Whatever. It's not great, but I really don't need it to be. It's pretty and fun. Surprisingly, I also don't hate the CW's other new schlock fest Beauty and the Guy With the Scar on His Face. So if you're looking for a new guilty pleasure....
Hey there, abs.
Ben and Kate
I don't know that this show is going to last, but I really enjoy it, and think it's a great fit with the other shows on the FOX comedy block. And let me tell you- Lucy Punch, who plays Kate's BFF, is fantastic. Brilliant. Like Jennifer Saunders level awesome. She alone is worth the watch.
If you are really my friend there might be a little movie you'd know her from....
So what about you, my darling Freaks? Any new stuff that's rocking your world? Burning questions for the TV Freak? Head to the comments!
I'll tell you, Freaks, it's hard to be a blogger when everything is just so.... blah.
I've watched fifteen new shows in the last two weeks, and everything is just kinda fine.
I mean, it's not terrible.
Even the shows that are terrible aren't terrible.
Animal Practice is bad, but it's not How To Be a Gentleman bad.
666 Park Ave is silly, campy crap, but it's not Charlie's Angels crap. (Oh, hey! Totally just realized that was the same girl!)
I want to punch her in the face less this year.
The second episode of Guys With Kids managed to be kinda funny in places, even if it still feels like a throwback to older sitcoms. Honestly, I think it's on the wrong network. Give it to CBS, put it where the also-not-good-enough Partners is shoved into the Monday night comedy block, and give the Will and Grace creators a chance to give that show some claws on the younger, more interesting network.
And while I'm bitching about scheduling errors, ABC should have put the very good Last Resort on Tuesdays where the dying Private Practice got fairly weak competition from the unwatched Parenthood and new show Vegas. There it might have stood a fighting chance of being watched. Last Resort isn't perfect, it's not blowing my mind or anything, but it is better than most of the other new stuff, and if given the time to blossom, could turn into a truly spectacular show.
If ABC can get it together.
Maybe they're just waiting for the devil to get cancelled.
This one. I mean this one.
I haven't been blown away by any of the new sitcoms, either, although I do like several of them. I'm hoping that Mindy is going to find her footing (obviously the network is too, as they just picked up a back nine order), and while I've genuinely enjoyed Go On so far, I'm hoping for more from it as well. I mean, it's John Cho and Matthew Perry. You think about how awesome that should be and tell me you're not a little disappointed Also, more Julie White, please! She's awesome.
You can keep Ellen Barkin and the rest of The New Normal, however. Despite how adorable I find Justin Bartha and Andrew Rannells, the show is badly written and full of hateful cliches - for everyone involved.
Hey, Ryan Murphy? We agree with you. Stop yelling at us.
Ok, well we didn't agree with this.
I'm also not loving NBC's big hit Revolution (I think the girl is lacking), or the terrible writing over on FOX's The Mob Doctor, and even the Jonny Miller Led Elementary is feeling a little....
What's the word I'm looking for?
Oh, right.
Blah.
I'm hoping that the remaining new shows set to premiere this week and next are going to take care of my premiere melancholy.
So what should you watch this week?
Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog has its television premiere tonight on the CW (9/8), and if you haven't seen this Joss Whedon gem online, then please, please, please watch it. It is beyond awesome. Hopefully the network will score a hit with it, as well as new shows Arrow (Wednesday, 8/7) and Beauty and the Beast (Thursday, 9/8). Hint: watch him, skip her.
Hey, CW? Are you confused about the word "Beast"?
The much anticipated Nashville drops on Wednesday (ABC, 10/9) and is sure to kill the competition, new NBC drama Chicago Fire, the latest Dick Wolf creation. I'll be watching both so you don't have to, but my early predictions are that Nashville won't be quite the awesome everyone expects and I'll be reporting a Fire-y cancellation in a month or two.
Oh, my dearest darling Freaks, I'm having a hard time.
There's just too much to snark about!
Too much to say!
Too much to love!
And seriously, way too much to hate.
Suck It, Emmy
Jon Cryer?
Go to hell.
Also, Amy Poehler is has more class in her little finger than you have in your whole stupid, awful, evil collective mind.
And clearly, much better cleavage.
I'm OK with Homeland, I don't think it was better than Mad Men or Breaking Bad, but it certainly wasn't worse, and I could understand the win. (Claire Danes especially deserved it, she's fabulous.)
But Emmy just doesn't get comedy.
The nominees should have been Parks and Recreation, Modern Family, Community, New Girl, Suburgatory, and Happy Endings. Those are the smartest, funniest, freshest, best-est shows on TV. Parks and Recreation should have won.
By a landslide.
A huge Amy Poehler shaped landslide.
So, what else should I watch if I want to have a stupidity anureism?
The Neighbors.
Animal Practice.
Guys With Kids.
God, even the baby is bored.
Do not watch these shows if you have enough skill to write a complete sentence or have the ability to comprehend a joke.
Because chances are you heard all of the ones they used in a rerun of an 80's sitcom on TV Land.
What about if I want to watch something good that probably won't last very long?
Ben and Kate premieres on Tuesday (8:30/7:30, FOX), sandwiched between two new New Girls (now I feel like Dr. Seuss), Matthew Perry is a consummate sitcom star on Go On (Wednesday, 9/8, NBC), and Shawn Ryan (The Shield, The Unit) creates another powerhouse man-drama with Last Resort, which premieres on Thursday (8/7, ABC).
Can't you just feel all the testosterone, punching you in your lady parts?
Anything else?
Castle is back! Bones isn't as bad as it was last year! Don't judge The Mindy Project too harshly!
Watch the last season of The Office. Last week was good, and Greg Daniels is back to run the last year the way he wants to, so it can only get better. Plus, Stephen Colbert is going to guest as Andy's college "frenemy" and a capella group member 'Broccoli Rob', and I'm pretty sure that's the best sentence ever.
I seriously haven't stopped laughing about 'Broccoli Rob' in like an hour.
If you have kids, you should be watching Grimm (NBC, Friday, 9/8) and Once Upon A Time (ABC, Sunday, 8/7). (I mean, I'm watching both of them anyway, but kids would really dig these shows.)
