Finally, something woke the Freak!

I'm baaaaaaack! 

Well, maybe. 

It's been a long drought of a TV spring, hasn't it, my little Freaks? 

Even the shows I like have been kinda....

Well, not great. 

I'm talking to you, Community. 

And you, HIMYM. 

And you, Doctor Who. (Shit, I know. SACRILEGE!) 

Really, it's pretty much everything. 

It makes your dear blogger very sad. 

This whole blogging thing? Only works when I have feelings. 

I have no feelings about Revenge. I end an episode of Castle thinking about my to-do list, not what might happen on the next one. I've left piles on the DVR of Justified, Suburgatory, Bones, Raising Hope, Go On, and Hawaii Five-0. 

Because, meh. 

There have been a few beacons of light in this bleak TV landscape. Arrow kicks serious ass. (And his ass is seriously kickin'.) Scandal leaves me gasping every week. New Girl and Parks and Recreation make me actually laugh out loud every single week, and I have sincerely enjoyed the great last season The Office is having. (Although I'm also very glad it is their last, it was time.) 

But really, that's it. 

So what made your world-weary TV blogger come flying back to the keyboard? 

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

IT'S JOSS WHEDON

I can not BEGIN to explain to you how excited I am about this show. The trailer just gave me goosebumps, and that was at least the fourteenth time I've watched it.

Joss Whedon has a new show on TV. On an actual network. With a budget. About superheroes. With Gunn!

It's going to be AWESOME.

And it's not the only one. 

Ready for some snap judgement?

Let's do this!

ABC

In addition to Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (that will be the one and only time I type that correctly), which I may have mentioned, the Alphabet is bringing more fairy tales to life with the spin-off Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. I was initially really skeptical about this, but the trailer makes a hell of an argument. Sophie Lee as Alice is great casting, and I think the love story could punch up the drama in a way that the original Once should consider. Plus, I am just a sucker for crossover episodes.

I'm also a fan of Trophy Wife, starring Malin Akerman as wife number three to Bradley Whitford and his bevy of children and previous wives, including the great Marcia Gay Harden; and think that, despite the difficult 1980's-set premise, The Goldbergs might have legs.

The rest of the network's schedule looks awful. I'm voting Back in the Game, which looks like a terrible feel-good Hallmark movie someone tried to make into a series, as the first death of the year. Please also kill Killer Women (why is that the name of a show about one lady?), Mixology, Betrayal, and Lucky 7, which also all look really hackneyed. And why do people keep giving Christian Slater shows? He's terrible at them. Mind Games will be no different.

I am almost positive this is the exact same cast from the last shitty show he did.

(I know the rest of the world is sold on Rebel Wilson, but I'm not yet, so I'm reserving judgement on Super Fun Night.)


NBC

The peacock is apparently going for a new "family" thing in the fall, so, vomit.

It seems like they think the way to do this is to make sitcoms from 2002. Welcome to the Family is about a mexican family and a white family that have to get along! Sean Saves the World is about Jack McFarland trying to raise a teenager! The Michael J. Fox Show is about Michael J. Fox having a show! Ironside is about a renegade cop who gets the bad guy but doesn't follow procedure. But he's in a wheelchair!

Ugh.

Yes, that makes it better. 

FOX

It seems like FOX has more new shows than it should. One of these is based on the legend of Sleepy Hollow (inventively named Sleepy Hollow), that features what I can only imagine to be the 1700's most impeccably groomed man waking up in modern day and being paired with a black female cop.

Just let that sink in for a second.

I'm sure he was a very progressive member of Pre-Revolutionary America. 

Moving on, who wouldn't love Greg Kinnear being a charming jerk on Rake, and a remake of the british show Gavin and Stacey, which stars the too-adorable for words Alexis Bledel and Jason Ritter. Anybody else think it's weird he's now put the moves on both of the Gilmore Girls?

Yep, it's weird! 

Dads and Enlisted can also shut the hell up, I can't even decide which is worse, but I am hopeful for Andre Braugher and Andy Samberg in Brooklyn Nine- Nine. The other sci-fi nerds should join me in being excited about Almost Human from JJ and JH (Wyman, from Fringe), which should be the 2nd most promising nerd offering of the year. (Have you heard about this SHIELD show?)

There will be more later, from these networks and the ones I haven't covered (because they haven't put out trailers, silly!), but I will leave you with this final hint of the beautiful treats to come...

Oh, hell yes.