You Can Keep Your White Knight

OK, Freaks, it's confession time.

I have a thing for bad boys.

For any of you that know me, or for that matter, anyone female in the whole world, this should come as no surprise. Bad boys are hot. Maybe it's the snarky wit, or the troublemaker smile, or the smolderingly naughty glances, but whatever it is, we're hooked.

And delightfully, because it's TV, they all come with a heart of gold. Isn't that convenient?


Best TV Bad Boys


Noah "Puck" Puckerman, Glee

Though I miss the mohawk, this singing, dancing bad boy (hard to pull off, btw) had all the girls of McKinley High fawning over him, despite stealing his best friend's girl and knocking her up. He showed his true heart when he fell for the awesome Lauren, who couldn't help buy fall prey to his bad boy charm.

Yeah, it was the charm that did it.

Eliot Spencer, Leverage

He can kill you in an instant and look good doing it. But he takes care of the people he loves, and has a soft spot for small town families and horses. All together now, awwwwww!

On second thought, maybe we'll just keep quiet.

Tim Riggins, Friday Night Lights

Southern bad boy charm is the best, isn't it? He's got the swagger of a champion and the grin of your Daddy's Worst Nightmare.

Yep, he's here to have sex with your daughter. 

Mark Sloan, Grey's Anatomy

I do not watch Grey's anymore, I just gave up after the whole "Izzy" thing. But I know well enough to know McSteamy was named that for a reason. Bad boy doctor? Yes, please!

Let me rephrase that....

Logan Echolls, Veronica Mars

Even though he was the "obligatory psychotic jackass" at Neptune High, and you know, her father accused his of murder and whatever, Veronica couldn't resist that snarky wit. And neither could we.

Ok...perhaps psychotic wasn't that far off...

Neal Caffrey, White Collar

Once again, I give you a picture of Matt Bomer. You're welcome.

Just..... unh.

Jordan Catalano, My So Called Life

He was so cool and tortured, and he had that hot car, and he played the guitar, and he leaned up against lockers really seductively. Who wouldn't fall for that?

I bet there's a silver thumb ring behind that sexy too-long sleeve.

Dylan McKay, Beverly Hills, 90210

It was the hair.

That pensive, deep, misunderstood hair.

Jax Teller, Sons of Anarchy

Sure, he's a criminal. But he loves his family, and his kids, and his woman. So what if love means having to figure out where to hide the bodies?

Um, yes. The desert. So romantic.

Don Draper, Mad Men

Don's smoking-drinking-suit-wearing charisma makes us love him even when he's cheating on his pretty little wife.

She does seem like kind of a bitch.

Brian Kinney, Queer as Folk

Though he worked really hard to make us believe he didn't have a heart at all, we still saw through that steely exterior. Plus, nobody else on this list can pull off vinyl pants.

Like the gay Batman. So...Batman.

Zack Morris, Saved by the Bell

My first bad boy crush, this scheming, manipulating, time-freezing Preppy may have gotten in his fair share of trouble, but he did it all for the love of Kelly Kapowski. Except when he was kissing Jessie. Or Lisa. Or Stacey Carosi. Or....

A middle aged lesbian biker.

Damon Salvatore, The Vampire Diaries

This bad boy (played with glee by Ian Somerhalder) absolutely makes this show, with all of his scheming, witty, joie de vivre charm. Plus, he's so much more fun than his furrow-browed, serious, brooding brother Stefan. Sound familiar?

He's part Husky.



 Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Yes, it does.

And then he kept trying to make that face for all of eternity....

James "Sawyer" Ford, LOST

So tortured. So angry. So....lost.

So frequently shirtless....

So what hunk of naughty did I leave out, Freaks?

On the Good Ship Let Down

Do you know my favorite part of watching TV?

All of it.

Um, I write a TV blog. I love everything about TV.

But also, I'm an unabashed 'shipper. For those of you not familiar with stupid internet TV-related terminology, that means that I like to get invested in the romantic relationships of TV characters. And I do. I will argue with you for an unacceptable amount of time about Buffy and Angel or Spike, I cried at Jim and Pam's wedding, and when I found out Vaughn had married someone else, my heart broke almost as much as Sydney's.

I've never claimed to be an entirely healthy person.

But sometimes, you get really into a couple getting together, and the show strings you along, and you just can't wait, and then it finally happens and you're so excited.....

Except it sucks.


Most Disappointing TV Hookups


Sookie and Eric, True Blood

God, I was waiting for this. It was hot in the books, it was hot in the show's dream sequences, it was hot in the please-god-anyone-but-Bill kinda way. And then it happened, and it was anything but. Sweet, no memory Eric is boring, and the constant puppy dog love faces the two of them keep making are driving me crazy. The long awaited shower scene? As annoying as hanging out with high people in real life.

Really? You have the new Phish live album? Score!

Donna and Josh, The West Wing

I was really into this pairing for a while, despite my adoration of all things Mary Louise Parker, but by the time they finally got there, it felt like a whimper and not a bang. The moment got a little swept under the rug, and honestly, it was another of those moments where the show waited too long out of fear of the "Moonlighting curse" and by the time it actually  happened, we didn't really care anymore. So sad.

Oh, god. Also really, really sad.

Felicity and Noel, Felicity

I liked Noel a lot in the beginning of the show, and honestly rooted for these two over the initially-insufferable Ben. But then it happened, and they were kinda just....blah.

Unlike this promo shot, which is amazing. What are they all looking at?

Sydney and Will, Alias

Now please do not get me wrong, as I have already mentioned in this post (and possibly all of the other ones on this blog) I am a huge Vaughn fan. But in the beginning, I really loved Will, so I wanted to see a little action between him and Sydney. Sadly, when it got there, it was a big disappointment. From the timing to the setting to the lack of emotions, it just all felt wrong to me. And Bradley Cooper naked should never feel wrong.

OK, this one feels a little wrong. Is he terrified of his own abs?

Shaun and Juliet, Psych

I think this is another case of waiting until I didn't really care anymore, but Psych also did a really bad job of having these two feel really inconsistent in their interest. Are they flirting? I have no idea. It seems like you forgot about it for a couple episodes, Psych, and then I'm supposed to get all excited at the Kiss-from-Nowhere? Nope, not happening.

The last time I was excited by a kiss from nowhere. Don't judge me, it was adorable.




 Dawson and Joey, Dawson's Creek

I have a confession to make. The episode where Dawson and Joey go on their first date is one of my most rewatched of all time. Not because I've seen it in ten years, but because of how many times I watched it in a row at the time. I literally rewound one part until the VCR tape broke. (It's the thing with the flower, for any of my fellow Beek lovers out there.) And then.....they sucked. Just no chemistry whatsoever. Of course, it didn't help that the chemistry with Pacey was electrifying the screen, but still. At some point, this hookup was the whole point of this show.

Another show that is all about the hookups.

Booth and Brennan, Bones

If you've read my blog in the past, you know how crazy pissed off I was about last season's finale, and the "Will-They?" that wasn't. If you don't, here's a reacap: I have literally never been as angry at a show in my entire life. I've waited six seasons to watch these two (who previously were one of the greatest will-they-wont-they couples in TV history) get together, and then it happens off screen? Hateful. Just hateful.

OK, I forgive you a little bit for this face.

Ross and Rachel, Friends

I might get some flack for this, but as I've argued before, Friends missed its window with this couple. I loved them like everyone else did in the beginning, and actively rooted for them long after it was clear they didn't belong together anymore. But after living together for a season and rushing the finale I-Love-You's, I just felt underwhelmed. It should have gone so much better, show. Why is everyone so afraid I'll stop watching once you put the people I like together?

Oh,

I

see....

OK Freaks, what underwhelming coupling did I miss? Head to the comments!

Backwards and in heels

You know what I think for today, Freaks? Let's throw a little love the ladies' way.


Top 16 Badass Chicks on TV



Jaime Sommers, The Bionic Woman

I'm too young for this show, but judging from the glazed looks my guy friends get when it comes up, I'd say the "six million dollar woman" earns high marks.

Was her superpower a stern mom face?

Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman

Um, the original badass chick. The badass chick that all the other chicks on this list wanted to be.

No one else will ever pull this off.

Christine Cagney and Mary Beth Lacey, Cagney and Lacey

The original badass lady cops, this duo dealt with sexism and bad guys with humor and panache.

And just the vaguest hint of lesbian subtext.

The Angels, Charlie's Angels

I know the original three were the most awesome, but Cheryl Ladd's little sister wasn't that bad, and still did plenty of ass kicking. They all did, while wearing polyester. That's some serious sass.

See, they can even look awesome wearing men's polyester.

Nikita, La Femme Nikita

This sexy assassin fought her way through the world at the behest of a shady secret organization. Also, this:

Just your average crime fighting outfit.

Zoe Washburne, Firefly

Soldier turned space pirate Zoe was Captain Mal's right hand man, and killer enough to take on the baddies and keep the crew in line. Plus, played by the awesome Gina Torres.

I am terrified of and attracted to you all at the same time, Gina.

Max Guevara, Dark Angel

This show was ahead of its time, and hottie Jessica Alba has never been better as the genetically enhanced super-soldier on the run. She rode a motorcycle, she kicked ass, and she looked good doing it.

Life is hard for Jessica Alba.

Veronica Mars, Veronica Mars

Sassy, smart, and sarcastic, this high school detective didn't take crap from anybody, and we loved her for it. Oh, we miss you, Veronica!

Just look at all the snark she has at the ready!

Kara Thrace (Starbuck), Battlestar Galactica

Smoking, drinking, cursing fighter pilot Starbuck didn't just keep up with the boys, she put them all to shame on this sci-fi gem. Plus, she made a terrible haircut look kinda hot.

Seriously, its almost the Dorothy Hamill.

The Halliwell Sisters, Charmed

The power of three was never sexier than these three ass-kicking witches.

The outfits, however, were never more questionable.

Ziva David, NCIS

This former soldier and Israeli Moussad agent is an ass kicking expert, trained in countless combat methods. Really, she's so lethal she's killed a man with a credit card.

Although I don't know where she put it...

Fiona Glenanne, Burn Notice

This former IRA agent loves big guns and big blocks of C4, and keeps her cool spy boyfriend on his toes. Plus, sexy accent!

It is REALLY hard to look badass while wearing pigtails.

Gemma Teller, Sons of Anarchy

Gemma Teller has had a lot of rough stuff to deal with, from rape to the IRA stealing her grandbaby, and she still comes ready to fight every day of her crazy biker gang existence. She's one badass mother.

And let me just reiterate, this woman is 57. Because life is unfair.

Daenerys Targaryen, Game of Thrones

I almost went with Arya, who is one badass little kid, but I figure the Mother of Dragons ranks a little higher. The character's transformation through the season, from scared girl to badass queen was awesome to watch, and we can't wait to see what Dany will do next.

Um, I'm gonna go with 'keep being awesome'.

Sydney Bristow, Alias

You've read this blog, you know that I want Syd to be my kickass best friend (and to leave me her leftovers), but let me just reiterate a little bit: She kicks serious ass. Really.

And she gets to do it in a wig.

Buffy Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

It's Buffy. Do I need to say more?

No, I do not.

OK, Freaks! Did I miss any awesome lady ass-kickers? Let me have it in the comments!