In the blink of an eye

The end of summer is always so hard, isn't it, Freaks? It's a million degrees, and all you want to do is curl up in your nice air-conditioned house and watch TV, but because you can only handle so much morons-with-a-camera-in-their-face, you find yourself shifting aimlessly from channel to channel. What to do?

If this was your answer, seek immediate medical attention.

Well, watch these:


Ten Awesome Shows Cancelled Too Soon (2 seasons or less)


Let me call attention to that "two seasons" caveat up there in the title, so that you can save your breath from posting about Arrested Development, which we can all agree is the most brilliant TV show to ever be cancelled. Look, it was on FOX, you know, so what did you expect? I think it's time to stop being so upset about it. Also, these are shows that were cancelled, so don't go whining about the two brilliant seasons of The Office UK, because I know about that too. Now that we have the particulars out of the way, let's get started!


The Unusuals (2009)

Starring the would-be Academy Award nominated Jeremy Renner and the always lovely Amber Tamblyn, this "cop show" broke all the rules of procedurals in that it wasn't really about the case of the week at all, but about the personal lives and problems of these strange characters. I loved this show when it was on, and was sorry to see it fall victim to ABC's big ego and terrible scheduling practices.

It was replaced by this. Well played, ABC.

Grosse Pointe (2000-2001)

Created by Darren Star as a spoof of the behind the scenes drama on a Beverly Hills, 90210 type show, this smart and funny parody missed the mark with the teen-dominated audience at the WB, but it still works as a great send up of the genre.

Then again, so does the new 90210. Tigerface!

Day Break (2006)

It's a shame that this mythology-ridden show didn't get the shot it deserved to build an audience, because the Taye Diggs led mystery was an exciting and innovative leap for TV at the time. Diggs played Detective Brett Hopper, who was forced to repeat the same day over and over Groundhog Day-style while trying to figure  out who framed him for a high-profile murder. Plus, um...Taye Diggs.

I would watch him read the phone book. And yet, not on Private Practice.

Samantha Who? (2007-2009)

This delightful sitcom fell prey to the writer's strike of 2008, a real shame because it was a great vehicle for the underrated Christina Applegate. With excellent supporting turns from Jennifer Esposito and Melissa McCarthy, this show proved that amnesia can actually work well as a defining trope.

Now if only it could work on TV viewers as well....

My So Called Life (1994-1995)

I just watched some of this again recently, and it completely holds up. And by that, I mean that it makes me want to curl up in a ball of teenage angst and awkwardness and die of a broken heart for all fifteen-year-old girls.

You know what holds up less from when I was 15?

Wonderfalls (2004)

This show is weird. But, like, awesome weird.

This is a major plot point. No, really.

Pushing Daises (2007-2009)

Man, Bryan Fuller is the king of awesome cancelled shows. He is the creator of the wonderfully quirky, beautiful Pushing Daises, as well as the previously mentioned Wonderfalls, and the almost-awesome Dead Like Me (which gets an honorable mention for this list). Someday they will let him have a third season. In the meantime, you should watch all of his stuff. It's on Nexflix.

In the show, this guy makes pie. For a living. I know, it's like every girl's dream.

Better Off Ted (2009-2010)

This show was too smart for TV. Full of social commentary, witty sarcasm, and blink-and-you'll-miss-it jokes, this short-lived sitcom could have been a huge splash if it got to play with the crazy comedy big boys over on NBC. Alas, ABC wasn't feeling the love, so it's here in the kiddie pool with the other losers.

This is the guy serving those losers drinks.

Firefly (2002-2003)

Let me reiterate, for those of you who have missed this in previous posts: Joss Whedon. Nathan Fillion. In space.

In space, no one can hear him scream (at me to stop following him).

Sports Night (1998-2000)

If you 've read this blog before, you also know my adoration of all things Aaron Sorkin, and I remain convinced the superb Sports Night is his finest work to date. It's funny and smart and brilliantly done, and the laugh track will make you crazy. Once again, too far ahead of its time.

All of these people are now on far worse shows. What's wrong with you, TV?

Freaks and Geeks (1999-2000)

Hey, you know how Judd Apatow makes all these great movies that make a ton of money and are hilarious? Well, he did that on TV first. (Except for the money-making part.) This sweet and hilarious show has most of your Apatow favorites, including Jason Segel, Busy Phillips, Seth Rogan, and James Franco, and if you haven't watched it, you are really missing out.

Plus, you can get some really excellent ideas for your next 70's theme party.
Oh, not everybody has those?

So what cancelled glory did I miss, Freaks? Take your venom to the comments!

My Space-Time Continuuim Comes In Pink

As it turns out, I am a huge nerd.

Whoops.

It's OK, though, because I get to be the rare creature known as "Girl Nerd". That works out much better.

So, Lady Freaks, if you'd like to know if you are also a closet nerd, then this is the list for you:


Top Ten Sci-Fi Shows (for Girls)



X Files

The original will-they-won't-they cop partners, with a side of aliens and government conspiracy. Man, UST for years? That's the good stuff, right there. Plus, David Duchovney was adorable.

Doesn't this make you feel old?

LOST

Craaaazy island full of monsters and time travelling, how much we love you! Let's have romantic tangles while working out our daddy issues, and then throw in some destiny-type stuff with a sorta-god or whatever. Mostly, we're here for this:

I know, I couldn't believe I picked one with a shirt, either.

Quantum Leap

To be fair, I don't remember this show all that well. But it was Scott Bakula! In the early 90's! How awesome is that?

Look at him, he's a bad boy with a heart of gold. Or something. I don't really remember this show.

Alias

If you've ever read this blog before, you are aware of my deep and abiding love for this brilliant-in-the-first-two-seasons-and-still-worth-watching-after-that-but-not-as-much show. Here's why:

Fringe

This show, after a really unsteady start, has become one of the more interesting, cool things on TV. Comparisons to the X Files are not unfounded, but like they say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Plus:

Damn, Pacey.

Stargate SG-1 (or the other ones)

I have not actually watched these shows, but I have it on good authority from my fellow sci-fi nerd girls (Thanks BL!) that they're awesome, and full of good looking men. Which is clearly the conversation we're having, right?

Oh my god, yes it is.

Battlestar Galactica

Let's class it back up a little, shall we? The 2004 reimagining is gripping, thought-provoking, and darkly funny. It is some of the finest writing and acting in sci-fi TV history, and if you've never seen it you are missing a whole lot of awesome.

Wow, that class did not last long, did it?

Twilight Zone

No, really, this one is staying classy. Because it's The Twilight Zone! And it's brilliant, and twisty and cool. And scared the crap out of me as a kid.

                                       This is how all of my nightmares start. I told you I was a nerd.


Doctor Who

Aw, this show. I have only watched from the 2005 revival point on, which is technically the ninth, tenth, and eleventh Doctors (it's a whole thing), but this is a great show. It's exceedingly sweet, often brilliant, occasionally romantic, frequently funny, and just really, really fun.

Yeah, but he's all flustered and British so add three points.

Firefly

Joss Whedon made a spaceship show starring Nathan Fillion. If you need to know anything else to know that you will love this, you are clearly on the wrong blog.

He's my pretend husband. Shut up, it's a thing.

OK, Lady Freaks and Dude Freaks alike, unleash all of your nerd fury in the comments below!

Oh, Emmy.

What did I say, Freaks?

The Emmy's, just like every other awards show, are disappointing. You hope that things will change, you think every year, "This is the year that things will be different!"

But you are wrong.

It will be exactly the same.

Nominations were announced this morning (you can find the full list here) and there are a few things I'd like to say to you, Emmy voters. This might hurt a little.

You are stupid.

No nomination for Justified? I wouldn't expect you to notice something as brash and interesting as Sons of Anarchy, but Justified is right up your alley! It's a redemption story, full of betrayal and accents, and it's better than every single show you nominated in its place. Look, I get that Dexter is a good show, but this season was not as great as those previously. Game of Thrones and Boardwalk Empire deserve their nods for sheer scope and ambition, but Mad Men was not at its best, and Justified is just better than The Good Wife. I love The Good Wife. But Justified is better.

At least Timothy Olyphant got some love for the show in the form of an Outstanding Actor nod, which I realize is how you do things. You can't put the show as a whole in, its too small and too new, so he'll get to carry the honor with Walter Goggins, nominated for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama. I know how you work, Emmy, but you can't expect me to be happy about it.

While we're on the subject of how well I know you, Hugh Laurie and Mariska Hargitay again? Really, Emmy? Are you confused about what constitutes acting? Look, I love both of those people, and I will occasionally catch an episode of L&O:SVU or House, and I enjoy myself just fine. They are perfectly consistent, well-done performances. That is not what you are supposed to be nominating. "Outstanding Actor/ess In a Lead". Do you know the definition of outstanding?

No you do not, because you nominated Hargitay's pedestrian performance over the unbelievable brilliance of Katey Sagal, which is just criminal. She was so good last season you should be genuinely ashamed of yourselves. I'm ashamed of you.

Kathy Bates, indeed. Bullshit.

Always the same, Emmy, you're always the same. Nominating safe shows like The Big Bang Theory over more interesting and un-formulaic comedies like Community and Raising Hope. Why couldn't you try a little harder, Emmy? Just a toe outside of the box, that's all I ask.

It's fine, we all know no one is beating Modern Family anyway.

Once again, you missed the one lead actress who should have been a lock by not nominating Toni Colette for the final season of The United States of Tara. She plays seven people. Think about that. She plays seven people, and she is astonishing. But, nah, I'm sure Melissa McCarthy's sit-com prat falls are much more impressive on the derivative Mike and Molly!

I've got no major problems with the Comedy Actors, either supporting or lead, but I maintain that the idiots over at Parks and Recreation are mad they didn't listen to me about which category Nick Offerman and Rob Lowe belonged in, because, oh, look, no nods for either. You have to play the politics, kids.

Jon Cryer got nominated because people feel sorry for him. Which makes me feel sorry for him.

So how did I do on predictions, my dearest Freaks?

I missed:

1 Lead Actor in both Comedy and Drama
2 Lead Actresses in both Comedy and Drama
2 Supporting Actors in both Comedy and Drama
0 Supporting Actresses in both Comedy and Drama

(God, don't you love it when stuff works out like that? I am a huge nerd.)

and 1 show, in Best Comedy Series.

So pretty alright, I'd say.

The Emmy Awards air September 18th. In the mean time, don't you want to get in on all this snark and anger? Head to the comments!

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

Oh, Emmy, Emmy, Emmy. How you never do what I want you to do.

Nominations will be announced on July 14th, so here at the TV Freak, we're going to bring you a brand new fun-filled adventure game called "Who Will? Who Should?"

Yes, I know. I'm so very clever.


Lead Actor in a Comedy

Who Will Get Nominated:

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Steve Carell, The Office
Matthew Morrison, Glee
Jim Parsons, Big Bang Theory
Louie C.K., Louie C. K.
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes

Who Should:

I'm fine with giants Carell and Baldwin, but Johnny Galecki should get Big Bang's nom over Parsons, who was very one-note this season. I'm totally over Matthew Morrison, so shoot some paintball love over Joel McHale's way for his great turn on Community (Also a possibility over the more random Louie and LeBlanc). Nathan Fillion would get my vote for Castle, but unfortunately for him, the show is listed in the much-more-competitive Drama category. I'd also love to see Zach Levi get props for the great balancing act he's doing on Chuck, but the everyman never gets noticed. Sorry, guy who plays Mike on Mike and Molly. No awards shows for you.

Ever!

Lead Actress in a Comedy

Who Will Get Nominated:

Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
Toni Colette, The United States of Tara
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Lea Michelle, Glee
Laura Linney, The Big C

Who Should:

I have no qualms about the brilliant Toni, Tina, or Amy, and though I do not watch The Big C, Laura Linney is supposed to be brilliant, so we'll give that as well. But I'd like to see one-face Michelle and phoning-it-in Falco traded for the awesome Courtney Cox (Cougar Town) and the equally amazing Martha Plimpton (Raising Hope).

The one face? This one.

Lead Actor in a Drama

Who Will get Nominated:

Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House
Steve Buschemi, Boardwalk Empire
Sean Bean, Game of Thrones
Timothy Olyphant, Justified

Who Should:

This is the hardest category for me to call. I have the horrifying feeling that Olyphant or Bean might be left off the list for more awards-show friendly actors like Ray Romano (Men of a Certain Age), and I think there could be surprise attacks from William H. Macy (Shameless), Peter Krause (Parenthood) or even Tom Selleck (Blue Bloods). Awards shows love to award the actors they love to award, you know? It would be nice if they would leave off Laurie for a more interesting choice like Charlie Hunnam, who had a fantastic season on Sons of Anarchy or Vincent D'Onofrio, who is still terrifyingly brilliant on the never-watched L&O: Criminal Intent.

Or, that's just his face.

Lead Actress in a Drama

Who Will Get Nominated:

Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
Elizabeth Moss, Mad Men
Katey Sagal, Sons of Anarchy
Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
Mariska Hargitay, Law and Order: SVU

Who Should:

Margulies and Sagal absolutely deserve to be on this list, and one of the two of them will win. Sedgwick and Hargitay were not really on their game this year, and there were much more interesting lady-cop performances from Jennnifer Beals (Chicago Code) and Mary McCormick (In Plain Sight). Dark horse candidate Michelle Enos (The Killing) could snag a spot from someone, and Kathy Bates (Harry's Law) is a movie star, but my money for the surprise nom is on Lauren Graham, who got to do a lot of big scenes on Parenthood. You know how voters love them come crying mama.

Almost as much as he does.

Supporting Actor in a Comedy

Who Will get Nominated:

Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Ed O'Neill, Modern Family
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
Chris Colfer, Glee
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
Nick Offerman, Parks and Recreation

Who Should:

No, I take it back, this is the hardest category to call. Because most of the comedy shows I love are ensemble pieces, there are way too many good nominees here. I hate to think Jesse Tyler Ferguson will be the only Modern Family man to get left out, and I really think that whoever decided to put Nick Offerman as a supporting actor for Parks and Rec while Rob Lowe got listed as a lead (I'm guessing it was Rob Lowe) is an idiot, because they were guaranteed a nomination and possible win in the opposite category. Jason Segel did his best work on How I Met Your Mother this year, but will not beat out perennial favorite Harris because Barney Stinson's heart grew three sizes this year, and forget mentioning the great performances by Dani Pudi (who could possibly, possibly sneak in with a nod) and Donald Glover on Community. All that, and I haven't yet said Chris Pratt (Parks and Recreation), Ed Helms (The Office), Adam Palley (Happy Endings), or Keir Gilchrist who really, really deserves it for his outstanding performance on The United States of Tara. Thank god I don't have to vote.

I'll be fine.

Supporting Actor in a Drama

Who Will get Nominated:

Alan Cummings, The Good Wife
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Michael Shannon, Boardwalk Empire
John Slattery, Mad Men
Scott Bakula, Men of a Certain Age
Walton Goggins, Justified

Who Should:

Max Burkholder, Parenthood.

He's so bored with all his talent.

Supporting Actress in a Comedy

Who Will Get Nominated:

Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock
Jane Lynch, Glee
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Betty White, Hot in Cleveland
Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live

Who Should:

I will not argue with the awesome women from Modern Family, but I would otherwise change this list almost entirely if I could. Heather Morris and Naya Rivera are much better on Glee, Busy Phillips is killing it on Cougar Town, Alyson Hannigan (How I Met Your Mother) is one of the most underrated actresses on TV, and both Rashida Jones and Aubrey Plaza deserve noms for their stellar work this season on Parks and Recreation.

I'm surrounded by too many talented people!

Supporting Actress in a Drama

Who Will Get Nominated:

Christine Baranski, The Good Wife
Michelle Forbes, The Killing
Christina Hendricks,  Mad Men
Kelly MacDonald,  Boardwalk Empire
Margo Martindale, Justified
Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife

Who Should:

I think Emilia Clarke has a really good shot of sneaking on here for her bewitching turn on Game of Thrones, but otherwise I'll just be disappointed to see no love for the awesome Mae Whitman, who is always brilliant on Parenthood. Maggie Siff had a great year on Sons of Anarchy, but she will always be overshadowed by the superior Katey Sagal.

We will all just hate her for looking like this at fifty-seven.

Drama

Who Will Get Nominated:

Boardwalk Empire
Game of Thrones
Friday Night Lights
Dexter
The Good Wife
Mad Men

Who Should:

Justified. I don't care what you take out, Justified.

I need to see this man in a tuxedo.

Comedy

Who Will Get Nominated:

30 Rock
Parks and Recreation
Glee
Modern Family
The Big C
The Office

Who Should:

The Big Bang Theory might get it over Parks and Recreation, but it shouldn't. Glee's uneven season should give way to the superior Community, Raising Hope, or Cougar Town. I'm not picky, Emmy voters. Just stop giving me the same old stuff all the time!

Oh, I see. You can't.

Alright, Freaks, did you take notes to see how I'll do come Thursday? I wouldn't bet against me. I already have one friend who did.

I'm looking forward to taking his money.

That thing you're jumping? Shark.

Hello out there, TV Freaks! Wanna get snarky?

Of course you do.


Seven Awful Seasons of Really Great Shows


These are the seasons that we as fans try to pretend never happened. We don't rewatch them on DVD, despite our sincere intention to memorize every other moment of these shows we love, because, like that time you totally made out with that major uggo, it's easier to pretend it just didn't happen.

It didn't.

I don't know what you are talking about.

It's not just you. Buffy apparently got it on with kd Lang.

Season 1, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

It is incredibly lucky for Joss and co that this show debuted fifteen years ago on a fledgling network, because it wouldn't have had a shot in hell on TV today. It's just so silly. It's a little on the nose too, with the demons-as-high-school-metaphor playing more like an after-school special than the interesting, complex, deep show Buffy would later become. Are you listening, networks?

No.

Season 9- Friends

Oh, Friends. You were so close. So close. There was a Ross and Rachel moment at the end of season 8 that would have worked to the point it probably would have made you two the greatest TV love story of all time. Instead, we got a baby, Rachel and Joey, and Chandler moved to Oklahoma. Wait, what?

Where good TV characters go to die. Also, good TV. Two and a Half Men? Huge here.

Season 6, LOST

Once again, so close, show. At the end of season 5 (once I stopped crying, which took like a week) I was convinced that this was going to go down as the greatest show in the history of television. It did not do that. No matter what your beef with Season 6 is (and mine is different than most people's) I think everyone can agree that it was just...underwhelming.

Yep. That's what my brain just did too.

Season 6, Sex and the City

Miranda is at her most bitchy, Charlotte is at her most insane, Samantha manages to make us feel bad for a vapid pretty boy, and we have to deal with both Berger and Aleksandr, who was so devoid of emotion I'm pretty convinced he is a clinical sociopath. Plus, it's the season that spawned "He's just not that into you", which, as we all know, somehow became a rallying cry for sad women and the men they let treat them like shit.

Plus this, which I'm still mad I wasted two hours of my life on.
All of these people are horrible human beings.

Season 6, The West Wing

As much as I love Alison Janney (and believe me, it is an unhealthy amount) this show's worst decision was to make C.J. Chief of Staff, one of the major plot points of this season. It was incredibly unrealistic and forced, and I maintain it was this show's shark-jumping moment. This season felt scattered and convoluted and just not up to snuff. So sad.

OK, not all sad.

Season 4, Alias

There was a giant red ball over Russia. There was the sister-killing disease thing. There was lots and lots of dirty looks at the APO office. Then there was the crushing finale where Vaughan was a big fat liar. Hateful.

See those lying eyes? That hateful....I'm sorry, what was I saying?

Season 7, Will and Grace

This season saw Megan Mullaly and Sean Hayes both going way off the caricature deep end with Jack and Karen, making the formerly hilarious duo almost insufferable. Jack got his talk show, which made the show even more guest-star happy than it was previously (which is saying something), and God, Ed Burns is annoying. Not nearly as annoying as Jeff Goldblum, though.

I hate you and your smug, smug face.

Now, quick, I know it's bugging you....What did I miss?