Wait, What Happened? Wrapping Up the Emmy's

The Emmy's have come and gone for another year, Freaks.

I know, so sad!

To recap, I'm going to hand out my own special brand of awards. The snarky kind.

Let's call them the Freakies!

Aren't I adorable?



Best Buffalo Bill Impression

FOX's red carpet guy (I am not bothering to look up his name) who told Rob Lowe he'd like to cut off his face and wear it as a mask.

I am not making this up.

Picture taken slightly before Rob Lowe quietly escorted his children away from the sociopath.

Most Ready for Thunderdome

Nancy O'Dell, whose hair looked like this:

Her earrings can be used as flotation devices.

Best Excuse to Watch High

The "Emmytones". I'm sorry, how the HELL did someone convince Zach Levi, Joel McHale, and Cobie Smulders to do this? I mean fine, Wilmer Valderrama doesn't have anything better to do, but the rest of you? Did you think it was the only way you'd be invited? Most of you are very pretty, it probably would have been fine. I'm just so embarrassed for you. If you missed it, don't watch the clip. Really. I say this as your friend.

Most Unnecessary Cameo

Leonard Nimoy as the "President of Television" didn't really work. I liked the song, but the whole opening "We all live in the same building" thing was weird. I mean, it wasn't Jimmy Fallon's awesome "Born to Run" opening last year, but it was fine. You just don't need to try so hard, guys.

When they asked her to host, they thought she was Ellen.

Best Lame Joke

John Slattery picking up the telephone in the Mad Men bit of Jane Lynch's opening number. I know it's a crap joke, but I just laughed and laughed. Don't judge me. Here's the opening in its entirety, in case you missed it. The Mad Men bit comes in around 4:15.

Best Jane Lynch Joke

"People ask me why I'm a lesbian. I'll tell you. Ladies and Gentlemen, the cast of Entourage."

Brilliant.

(Honorable mention to the "gay agenda" joke.)

Jesus, they can't even walk without looking like douchebags.

Worst Snub of the Night

Steve Carell has never won an Emmy for playing Michael Scott. This is criminal. Look, Jim Parsons is great, but Carell has been brilliant for eight seasons, and it's just wrong that he wasn't awarded for it. He deserves it for just being able to read the script for the "Scott's Tots" episode.

Can't you see the anger behind his eyes?

Best "Hey, We Really Liked You in That Other Thing" Award

Melissa McCarthy won an Emmy for her role in the movie Bridesmaids. That is the only explanation I have.

Look at who she beat. You know that was not right.

Best Use of Someone I Forgot Existed

Hey, Michael Bolton! What are you doing here? Dressed as Jack Sparrow...

Well, that got weird in a hurry.

Most Uncomfortable Moment

Oh, god. Why did anyone think it was a good idea to let Charlie Sheen make the Emmy's the most recent stop on his goodwill tour? Seriously, his new publicist must be guarding the hookers and drugs like a Rottweiler for how hard all that "Good luck Two and a Half Men!" stuff looked like it was for him to say.

This is a face that says, "I will cut you. With my coke razor."

Best Blink and You Missed It Joke

Kimmel reading Fallon's acceptance speech, "Hold the trophy like it's 'The Lion King' baby" and Fallon doing the motion. I just love the Jimmys!

There is never enough wrestling on awards shows.

Best Complete Lack of Humility

Kate Winslet's fist pump when her win was announced for Mildred Pierce. No fake gasp here.

It's OK, she's British. Even bitch is classy with that accent.

Best Outfit

Christina Aguilera from 1999.

You have to rub her the right way.

What other moments did you love? Hate? Bring it to the comments!




Please tune in to Black Sheep on GVB Radio September 20th at 12:00am EST/ 11:00 pm CST on http://www.gvbradio.com/ . I'll be talking Fall TV as well as a recap of the Emmy's! Check out the awesome Black Sheep show here


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