I've been in full-on panic mode for a week, fellow Freaks. How will I fit it all in? Why doesn't my DVR record four shows in HD? Oh, dammit, the Emmy's are this month too, I have to make sure I do enough yelling about that...
What do you mean "Thursday Night Football"?
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| Couldn't it have been Tuesday Mid-to-Late Afternoon Football? There's nothing on then... |
Deep breaths.
I can do this.
You know how I can do this, Freaks?
Snap decisions. Hasty Judgments. No sympathy.
It's time for the TV Freak to break out the tough love.
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| Don't give a shit. |
So, here's the new fall shows that don't matter:
The New NBC Comedies
Oh, NBC. Is anybody surprised I'm starting with you? Of course not. You have four new comedies on your fall schedule, and I'd be willing to lay money that only one of them will make it through the year. I'd like to say it would be Matthew Perry's new show Go On, because I love me some Matthew Perry, but with an unsustainable premise and a time slot war with New Girl and Happy Endings, I won't. That shit is super cancelled.
Sorry, Matt. Looks like it's failed solo sitcom #2 for you.
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| I'm pretty sure that mug is from the set of Mr. Sunshine |
Animal Practice is just as stupid and annoying as you'd think a show about an animal hospital would be (We get it, you're weird!), and Guys With Kids, as much as I enjoy the idea of Tempest Bledsoe playing a mom, isn't great. It will fail with the poor lead-in and better competition. Sorry (Exec producer) Jimmy Fallon. Try to be less sitcom-y next time. I know you will laugh at anything, but the rest of us won't.
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| This picture causes Jimmy Fallon to pee his pants. |
The New Normal is a crap-shoot, and not entirely due to scheduling or unfortunate placement on the last-place network (although those things are not going to help). Honestly, it's not a great show yet. I've only seen the pilot at this point, and while it offered a few laughs, it feels very forced. Even the title is trying too hard. The kid is better than the mom, The Hangover gay dad is better then the Book of Mormon one, Ellen Barkin's character is too over the top to make her point, and Ne Ne Leakes (I can't believe I'm saying this) is better than all of them. Ryan Murphy (creator of Glee, American Horror Story) recently said the show was basically "Kurt and Blaine all grown up decide to have a kid" which is exactly what it is.
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| Seriously? Is this based on a fanfic? |
I like Kurt and Blaine better.
Look, if it gets better, maybe it sticks around. But I wouldn't hold my breath if I were NBC.
Of course, what the hell else are they going to air?
I won't care if it is Chicago Fire. Though the show is produced by Dick Wolf (all of the Law and Order) and full of eye candy for the ladies, the ladies will all be watching the sure-to-be-a-hit Nashville (stay tuned for the good shows in the next Fall TV Preview!).
Also, it's not very good.
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| You may not care. |
I'm not saying it's getting cancelled, (again, what is NBC going to air?) but unless you have a super crush on Jesse Spencer (House) or Taylor Kinney (The Vampire Diaries) don't bother.
Oh, so all of the sitcoms are terrible....
Yeah, ABC, you're not winning anything over here either. The Neighbors, about a family who moves into a suburban community filled with aliens, is too weird for the regular TV audience (and sadly I think will damage underdog The Middle) and Malibu County is a sitcom starring Reba McEntire. I think it will probably do well on Friday nights with Tim Allen's show Last Man Standing, but I will not be watching.
Because I am not a grandma.
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| You can tell because I know they stole this set from Hannah Montana. |
That is also why I will not be adding the new CBS Friday night procedural Made in Jersey to my lineup, although I hear decent things about the show and particularly the star. However, despite my vigorous youth, I also don't expect to get wrapped up in the CW's Beauty and the Beast, starring Kristen Kreuk. Despite the network's highest rated lead in (The Vampire Diaries), CW fans, me included, have shown that they won't get on board with crappy or boring shows (see last year's occupier of this spot, The Secret Circle) and from what I've seen, that's exactly what you're in for with this one. Sadly, I like its chances better than the network's far superior Emily Owens, MD, just due to scheduling, (Miss Emily got railroaded in the same Tuesday night spot as Go On) but I don't expect either to live long on my DVR.
ABC branches out, which is clearly a good idea
So in addition to alien neighbors, ABC is also offering viewers a haunted apartment building with 666 Park Ave and a submarine crew gone rogue with Last Resort. While I like Dave Annabel and Terry O'Quinn, I think 666 is going to be too scary for normal viewers and not scary enough for horror viewers, and therefore will have a hard time garnering an audience. And Last Resort just doesn't have a shot, despite powerhouse lead Andre Braugher. It's in an impossible time slot up against The Big Bang Theory, it's too serious for the 8/7 hour, it's on female-centric ABC, etc., etc. Look, producer Scott Ryan (The Shield, Chicago Code, The Unit) makes good TV, so I honestly hope I'm wrong about this one.
And not just because I'd be delighted for Scott Speedman to be more than just "That guy from Felicity".
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| Aw, no you won't, Big Ears. |
So what will you actually want to tune in for? Stay here all week for more Fall TV Preview!
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