Friday, February 18, 2011

...And your stupid face!

I'll tell you Freaks, I've had a hard time with today's list. I've been working on it for weeks, and bugging everybody about it, and I am pretty sure that I'm still forgetting someone.

Ah, well.

Come get your hate on!

Truly Hated Significant Others

Part of the difficulty with this list is that I wanted to make sure that these romantic "plot points" were universally, and for the most part, unfairly hated by fans in general, and particularly those "shippers" who have a vested interest in a show's lead romantic pairing. So you will not find Richard from Friends (because who doesn't love Tom Selleck?) or or Bryce from Chuck (because who doesn't want to look at Matt Bomer?)

No one.

These are the characters who caused us to yell at the TV, take to message boards (Not me, I totally don't do that) and plot unimaginable horrors to the ones who stood in the way of true love.

Riley Finn, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Probably the original hated significant other, poor Marc Blucas never stood a chance as Buffy's post-Angel beau, despite his corn-fed optimism and sweet demeanor. Even when they gave him an interesting "Super Soldier" back story, people seriously hated this character. I was late to the Buffy party, so I never shared the contempt that most felt for the gallant Mr. Finn, but I wasn't sorry to see the back of him in the show's fifth season, either. Man, people really hate this guy. There are websites.


Fangirls have this on dart boards all over the world.

Ana Lucia, LOST

In season two of LOST, the creators introduced us to the "Talies", the remaining survivors of flight 815, led by tough-girl Ana Lucia. She flirted around with both Sawyer and Jack, making shippers on both sides of the Kate triangle crazy. Simply put, Ana Lucia was a bitch. And every time they tried to make her likable, or give her a back story that made her a more sympathetic character, it backfired. So they shot her in the chest. Problem solved.


This will not solve your romantic problems.

Lauren Reed, Alias

In one of the craziest season enders in history, Sydney Bristow wakes up to find two years of her life missing and her true love married to another woman. Reed would have been an unlikeable character to begin with, but played with little range by Melissa George she became nothing more than a hurry-up-and-kill-her plot point. Once again, the solution? Shoot her in the chest.


This is the only face she made for an entire season.

Tori Scott, Saved By the Bell

Um, excuse me, 35-year-old lesbian biker? Who are you? Where did you come from? Where are Kelly and Jessie? Wait, where did you go?


Seriously, what are you doing here?


Leo Markus, Will and Grace

I hate Leo. He ruined this show. I'm still very upset about it, obviously. Seriously, I really do think the way the character was introduced, the quickie wedding with Grace, and the subsequent comings and goings put a permanent damper on this show from which it never recovered. I maintain show runners could have had Grace marry Woody Harrelson's Nathan in season four because, unlike Leo, he had his own individual chemistry with the rest of the characters and could have maintained a genuine place in the show. Plus, so much cuter than Harry Connick, Jr.


I hate you, imaginary character.

Byron Douglas, A Different World

Ok, so if you were not in the fourth grade when I was, this one might not be as big of a deal to you, but believe me when I tell you that it was huge at the time. Byron, who was engaged to Whitley for a brief time, is the perfect example of the "Runner-up Boyfriend", a guy who probably isn't all that bad, but he's kinda boring and mostly just not the one. And Dwayne Wayne was so cool!


The epitome of cool, circa 1992.


Hannah Burley, Bones

The inspiration for this list who was recently (though unfortunately I don't think permanently) kicked to the curb on Bones, Hannah has been raising the ire of fans since she showed up on the arm of our favorite Fed. It does not help that actress Katheryne Winnick is dreadful nor that the writers felt they had to try so hard to get viewers to like the character. Seriously, guys. When your show is basically built on the romance between two characters, we accept that you are going to give us stupid significant others to put up with to drag out the drama. I'm not stupid, I know it's never going to last, so just let me hate her.


Pictured: Irrational Hatred

Alright, Freaks, who am I missing? Unleash your TV scorn below!

4 comments:

  1. I agree....the captions are the BEST!!! "Seriously, what are you doing here?" HAHAHAHAHAHA

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  2. Oh, and also...I know it's a current show, but Elizabeth Reaser on The Good Wife...I can't STAND that biotch!! I hate her more than Big for keeping Alicia and Will apart! But I've never hated anyone as much as Lauren Reed...never in my LIFE.

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  3. Oh, another one...the guy who Felicity loses her virginity to instead of Noel...no idea who that actor is, but I hate him. And also, EVERY GUY that Serena dates instead of Dan on Gossip Girl...hate them all!!!!!!

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