When it rains, it pours: April TV

Wondering what to do with rainy April? Well, luckily for you, the TV gods have aspired to fill your every waking hour with new and exciting TV! And I, being your TV blogger goddess, have created this handy little guide to watching it.

I prefer offerings with a peep toe and four inch heel.


Bringing the drama: History style

This April brings the premiere of three soapy historical dramas, Showtime's The Borgias, Starz's Camelot, and the (geekily) awaited Game of Thrones on HBO. All big budget affairs with recognizable faces, early critical reviews seem to indicate you can't go wrong with any, but if you're like me and don't actually subscribe to these pay channels, you want to make sure your time scouring the internet is worth it. So:

If you like soapy, sexy, dangerous liaisons: go with The Borgias, starring Jeremy Irons as the newly crowned (and not particularly devotional, obviously) Pope something. Seriously, do you care which one?

Not when this is his kid, you don't.

If you want mythological sci-fi goodness with a literary pedigree: Game of Thrones, based on the much-loved book series of the same name and with actors you'll recognize from things like the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Somewhere in between/I just want to watch stuff with Joseph Fiennes: Camelot

Yes, I miss the hair too. But he's still all broody and intense-eyed. Sigh.

Movies on TV

Not like, "Hey, FX, thanks for showing Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer again!" but like:

The Killing, AMC

This Dutch-show-based murder mystery is a 13-part series (2 hour premiere on April 3rd) about a female homicide detective (Big Love's Mireille Enos) investigating the death of a young girl. Sounds formulaic, but with Cold Case exec Veena Sud at the helm, the big cast of characters and their secrets should keep things interesting.

Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe, USA

Premiering on April 17th, this TV movie follows everybody's favorite former Navy SEAL when he still was one, kicking ass and taking names in Central America. I adore Bruce Campbell, so I'm already on board with this Burn Notice prequel, but I don't imagine it offers many surprises. Danger, explosions, and quips, oh, my!

The Kennedys, Reelz Channel

The much publicized miniseries starring Greg Kinnear and Katie Holmes as the titular couple probably won't have slipped past your radar, but its final location might. Due to the major cable players backing off this controversial property, tiny network Reelz managed to scoop it up on the cheap. If you like a little historical inaccuracy and a lot of soapy drama with your biopics, you'll dig this miniseries starting April 3rd. That is, if you can find it.

Sitcom madness!

The Office- Though the arrival of Will Ferrell on April 13th will soften the blow, it's still going to hurt when Steve Carell puts in his final performance on April 28th. We'll cross our fingers that the Will Arnett-is-taking-over rumors turn out to be true, but tune in to what is bound to be a hilarious (and probably tearful, at least for me) exit.

Don't go!

Cougar Town- In muuuuuuuuch better news, Cougar Town is back! The cul-de-sac crew returns on April 18th, bringing back one of the best sitcoms on TV. If you haven't watched before now, don't let the title keep you away; grab your giant wine glass and join in the funny!

Yeah, I guess that's big enough. It's only a half hour show.

New shows- Breaking In, the new sitcom starring Christian Slater premiers on April 6th on FOX, and is getting surprisingly (based on his last few TV outings) spectacular reviews. Hopefully it will make a better addition to the Fall 2011 schedule than the floundering Traffic Light. The awaited Happy Endings shows up to join ABC Comedy Wednesdays on April 13th. This was the show I rated most highly on my Spring TV Preview, so tune in to see how I did! Also, The Paul Reiser Show debuts on NBC on April 14th. Expect a cancellation notice on April 15th. Seriously, NBC, can I help?

Dear NBC, It is not 1997. Sincerely, ALL OF US

Quick Hits: Fairly Legal hottie (and BSG alum) Michael Trucco will guest on How I Met Your Mother on April 18th, Michael Keaton is coming to 30 Rock's 100th episode on April 21st, and Community is having a flashback episode! Also, Glee producers are in talks to show an extended episode on April 26th for the show's next Gaga outing, "Born This Way" (though not exclusively Lady songs, she will feature heavily).

So what do you think, Freaks? Are you getting new remote batteries and preparing to indent the couch?